How to Save Money In Divorce?
How much is the divorce going to cost?
Why is it costing me so much to get divorced?
It’s cheaper if I just stay married!
These are just some of the questions and statements heard often by divorce mediators and attorneys. The average divorce costs $14,000 with that amount being exponentially more for “high conflict” cases. While the divorce process, just like any other professional service, will have necessary costs and fees, the amount will vary based on a variety of factors including geographic location, the number of professionals involved in the case, the type of process (e.g., litigation, alternative dispute resolution), and the behavior of the parties.
If you haven’t heard this before, then let this be your “dose of reality” when it comes to getting divorced. You will spend money to get divorced. Realistically, you may spend more than you anticipated even if your case is an “amicable and efficient” as possible. It is unrealistic to think that you can or will get divorced without realizing any costs - it just isn’t possible. Whether it’s the mandatory Court costs and fees for filing documents or paying for a professional to assist in the process (e.g., lawyer, mediator, expert), there will be costs involved with getting divorced. Now, once you have accepted that reality, you can focus on how best to mitigate those costs so that you don’t end up owing fees from your property settlement or your spousal support.
Unrealistic Expectations and Demands. It is important to work with a divorce professional who can help you set and maintain realistic expectations during the divorce process. Are you expecting your attorney to be available 24/7? Are you demanding to only work with the “Partner on the case” or the “Principal Mediator?” If so, then be prepared to pay for this level of attention and service. It is unrealistic to expect not to pay a premium for these services especially since billing rates for divorce professionals are often set based on education and experience. If your expectation is that your emails and phone calls are to be regularly answered during early morning hours (i.e. 4:00am - 6:00am), late night hours, weekends, and holidays, then expect that your bill will also reflect that level of attention! Keep in mind that most divorce professionals work based on an hourly billing rate and that your bill should reflect anytime that the professional is working on your case. The more demands you have, then the more your bill is likely to increase. This certainly doesn’t mean you shouldn’t reach out to the person you have retained because you have hired her or him to assist you with this process. However, be mindful of unrealistic expectations and demands when engaging with the professional since it will have a direct correlation on the cost of your divorce.
Unreasonable Behavior. Similar to unrealistic expectations, it is critically important to make sure that your behavior during the process is not unreasonable. Are you defying guidance from your lawyer or expert? Are you disregarding Court Orders? Your behavior, or that of your ex-spouse, dictates the cost of the divorce process. While you cannot control how the opposing party will behave in the divorce or family matter, you can certainly control how you behave in the process as well as how you respond to the other party’s antics. A lot of additional and unnecessary money is spent addressing unreasonable behavior by the parties.
Unprofessional “Professionals.” Unfortunately, not every “professional” acts professionally during the divorce process and that can cost you both time and money. If you are retaining a lawyer, mediator, financial advisor, or any other expert to assist you in the divorce, then make sure that they are maintaining the level of professionalism that is expected of their position. It costs you more time and money when your lawyer fails to timely respond to emails or ignores phone calls from the other lawyer. On the other hand, if you have a lawyer who is constantly engaging in bullying tactics, then that too can increase the cost of process. Be sure to ask your attorney for copies of all communications on your case so that you are aware of how professional, or unprofessional, everyone is on the case. If the professional is a mediator or other expert, it is equally important to keep track of how they are engaging in the process and whether the increase in costs is the result of unprofessional behavior.
Unchecked Legal Bills. To “err is human” (i.e. people make mistakes) so be sure to check your billing statements each month. It is entirely possible that there is an error on your billing statement. However, if you don’t timely check the billing statement, then there is a good chance that you will pay more than you may actually be obligated for. Checking your bills for accuracy is important not just from a cost perspective but a descriptive billing statement can keep you updated on the progress of your case. If you do not receive regular billing statements, or the billing statements you receive to not provide information explaining the charges, then speak with the attorney in charge of your case to get that issue corrected immediately.
Unprepared and Unorganized Parties. Being prepared and organized can save you a lot of money during a divorce or family matter. Pull together the documents requested by your lawyer, Mediator, or expert in a timely manner. The longer you take in getting the information necessary to help your case costs you more in the long run. Yes, it can be overwhelming to locate and review documents from several years ago but keep in mind that this information is needed to help your case. The more information you can provide in a timely manner then the better your chances of resolving the issue in a cost effective way. The same is true for being prepared. Complete all necessary paperwork, review and respond to emails, return phone calls and be prepared for any meetings or court appearances. Don’t discount the value of being prepared and organized!
While getting a divorce or resolving a family matter can be costly, it is important to remember that you can mitigate costs based on your actions alone.
